Tuesday 19 May 2020

Living Single

Lately, Ive been thinking about getting a house.
Dreams of a clown, you know?

But Im single.

BaddieBitch exists, but is INCREDIBLY high-maintenance and doesnt enjoy sex much.
Valera has a son, and I am not connected with him to raise him effectively.
The above said, avoiding the VERY caveman-esque feeling I have about it all.
VS got her own, including a new man, so that's out of the question.

Being in a big house with a studio would lead to depression phases that show no happy ending.

So, I'd want an apartment.

But to have one would draw the urge to have company.
The ideal guests I'd have aren't showing interest in me, at all.
I know I can be overbearing with love, but a little wink here and there makes days.
Then, I can't trust my StarChasers, because of the very music I share.

My male friends are few and far between, and the warning signs I avoided have led to social meltdowns.

If I get another place, I will be alone.
Again.

I accept that I am The Hermit.
But I would like a her to be a mit to.
I would like a smoking buddy.
I would like to throw house parties.
I also want to play my music, loud, whenever.

Can't do that in an apartment.

So, I want a house.

I would invite Grandma and Uncle.
Cook dinner, maybe spin for them.
But eventually, they will leave.
And I will be alone.

I do not desire poverty or homelessness.
Though a great song, dependency is not a goal.

I want my own.
Again.

And I want it, alone.

But... there's love.
The treasure Ive been searching for since before forever.

Don't bust that nut, we'll be right back after these messages.






-so mote it be 

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