Proverbs of the Pathetic

On EnterTheHamilton, I talked about how my next relationship is my last.

I am prepared to live The Diane Warren Lyfestile.
Make music for the heart, from an empty heart.
Forever.
At my pace.

I am miserable just thinking about it.

The difference between my next relationship and life with Briana is, I was HYPERfocused on music, as it was what paid the bills.
I put up with her spazouts, made my music, felt how I felt, and...
...well, there.

My next relationship will be Gothic.
Nothing ends a Gothic relationship.

Except a breakup.

I'm seriously in no rush to get into a relationship.

You awlreddae know I'm NUTS about FDAliens.
We're kinda at a point where it's all or nothing.

As in, every FDAlien EVER and CH or... we go our own way.

No picking, no choosing.

This chick I'd date is superelusive.

Damn.
As I write this, I feel my longing for romance die and rot in my chest.

I don't feel good about love anymore.

I'm sorry, VSDiamond and Ariel Lawrence.
For all that I should be sorry for.

Love has been cruel to me.
All forms of love.

Right now, in the world, everyone is okay.
Except me.
And they waste no time belittling me for it.

All I want is a lady with a lap to baptize my face in.
Drown her crotch with tears.
Emerge from her abyss with motivation and joy.

I am now nauseous from love.

Romantic.
Familial.
Platonic.

Daaaaamn...

My fucking...
Nah.
I'ma leave her out of this.

TOO deep of a gash.

I don't feel good.

Like... here is where a nigga turns to Jesus.

Or Dayquan.




I'm gonna...
...I'm gonna lay down.

-so mote it be

Midget Mobile

We are facing a merger.
The last time my generation faced a merger this big, nothing was the same.

We are facing a merger of proportions unscriptured.

Macintosh (APL) & Tesla (TSLA)

In the spirit of pet names and foresight, together they form...

Midget Mobile

.

Advanced electricty and solar-powered computers will, literally and in every sense, propel the future.

Communication will be enhanced.

The processing of food will be revolutionized.
Forever.

Education will be faster than immaturity.

What is, shall remain.
In the future.
Of today.

What was will be preserved.
For the processing of today's tomorrow.
And tomorrow's today.

Developments and prototypes will surface starting December 2020.





Get down.

-so mote it be

14 hours of thought

Wounds taste good.

--Aliens!

...ETs...

...okay.

I just learned that Fender makes a Telecaster.
I have been away from what's new in the music industry.
Not music business.
The music business is where the -Illuminati talk comes from.
The music industry is the production, development and distribution of music hardware and software.

Once I found my ideal turntable deck, I didn't look at what was new on the market.
I see the Whammy guitar, I fell in love with this Pioneer controller, and I have a new signature keyboard.

Still love you, Yamaha (#MotifMotif!).
And the Korg Triton will always be the hot upperclassman I'm too square to be with.

But yo.
A TELEcaster.
The Stratocaster held it/life/music down for CENTURIES.
I GOTTA know what a Telecaster is.

Oh, the possibilities.

At an AirBnB with Sebastian.
We just dropped a joint on his Bandcamp.
Gonna be streaming live later.


#productionsession.

This chick I'd date and I are so deep in, we're starting again.
Baddie disappeared.
VS is making dreams come true and breaking hearts.
DJ SnS is spinning for 4th of July (and I mean I dead fought laughter as I typed it).

My marital status is ONE.

Being said, I will reintroduce The Way of The Scorpion in a post, soon.

Not to be slept on.

Wounds taste good.
Forgive me for licking mine musically.

Everyone is causing yours and putting salt in mine.

Love you all.

Rage elbows to the faces of deterrence.

[I need a Toe Lewinski)

-so mote it be

Sumwutuvufreewrite

It has been one-sided.
My entire life.
This love thing of ours.
Pain and numbness led me to make it a competition between us.
Who loves who more.
Who can love who more.
Who could love who more.

At the peak of my second-guessing, she reminds me we're married.
Such, as and when it benefits her.

She is so beautiful.
The kind of beauty to render a man stupid.

I sit here, reminded of my open mind and closed heart.
My closed mind and open heart.
My open mind and heart.

The void.

She will laugh at me.
I will cry for her.

Chivalry will die at the hands of women.

-so mote it be

Careless whisper

I

hurt

my

self...

So we're clear that I am a porn connoisseur.
I have my preferences, favorite movies and actresses, and have taken notes on... well, how to do it.

Shouts to Peter North and Mr. Marcus.

I've written songs and esoteric lines about... 2 in particular, but... may faves know who they are.

I

hurt

my

self
...
one day.

I found the jenesecois of the beautiful, untouchable, unapproachable femaliens in my life in many of the stars and starlets I adore.

I indulged.

And I
...
hurt myself.

Already in a macho enviroment, I snuck off into the bathroom and watched them.
Already insecure, I watched them get done right.
Already alone, I heard pleas unheard in my own bedroom endeavors.

And I continued.

As I arrived (15 minutes of heartbroken forced self-pleasure), I told the one I was watching that I love her.
Out loud.
The pain was so great, it made me cum more.

Masturbation is the new carving.
And I dont want to cum anymore.

Beating suicide is a goal itself.
Continuing to live while everything pushes you in that direction makes life seem like a scheme to make one do it.

Yet porn is an addiction.
Of course Im gonna watch you again.
You get nothing but chivalry from me when and if we cross paths.

Still...

I

hurt

my

self...





Today.

-so mote it be

The trouble with being myself (possible sequel)

I forever want people to drive around blasting my music.
I am horridly shy.
I always want a mob of women chasing whatever car I'm in.
I'm a klutz.

Mentally, I may be blocking my own success.
Not only do I overthink, I feel like people would be blasting my music and wildly embracing me, for their own cruel humor's sake and to my detriment.
And though I know all my songs, I don't know the lyrics by heart for everything.

When you record music... I'll go so far as to say even in production, your memory is key.

So... I can vouch for the fact I know "Loser", "Brooklyn Girls" and "New York Raining" by heart, and that's why they went so far.

Also, though I speak for and on the behalf of the voiceless and weary, TheElite know, understand and USE my music better.
The best.

For their own cruel sense of humor and the detriment of... almost us all.

THE AUDIENCE OF MUSIC IN GENERAL is the artist, and has to appeal to those otherwise turned off by his/my very self.

So nah.
I don't make music for everyone.
And yeah.
I am staying true to music.

The objective is to provide a living for myself (and what's mine) through music, mass media and education.
I applied to/for Five Towns College again recently.
With good quality work in the above fields, execution of such is the sole factor of concern.

Ain't nothin' to it but to do it.

Alas, diplomacy is vital.
I can't be beefing with... really anyone, and expect not to have roadblocks.

I gotta dead this back and forth with Jay.
I gotta let go of my gripe with Drake.
I gotta make sure Em and I are still cool.

As far as Demevolist, I've said some negative things on record, so have they.
I saw HchO and Sha-leik last year, the night before I moved to Bmore.
Very few words.
High tension.

I've been more in touch with my #LehmanGang than Demev members.
We DEAD ASS came up together.

If you know, you know.

Obviously, I'm not over TheExDA.
I just don't wanna sweat them and get played.

#placement

So I'm making myself more worth while.
Which may mean I have to get a bit arrogant.

You've been warned.





-so mote it

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-so mote it be