June 6th, 2020

The Suicidal 6

-so mote it be

Vandalizm.

#ReallyCharles
#PacHam
#CHz
#NasHamilton
#Haminem
#ChamWrong
#CharlesPrice
#Papilton
#PimpCH
#MidPunisher

-so mote it be

From Whooville...

-so mote it be

Goth Model_..._GothGoth Model

I really don't think I'm ugly.
So that's not why I'm alone.

I really think I'm husband material.
That CAN'T be why I'm alone.

I cook, can clean, make love, and have been practicing being a father for almost 15 years.
That being the reason I'm alone reflects negatively on females.

My worth is more than I admit to.
Because you know it.

And yes.
I do have a commitment issue.
My rationale is justified by the female race, in general, point blank, period.

Doth not a gardener smoke weed?

-so mote it be

The Netherworld

FatherGod:
Kool Herc

UncleDaddy:
Grandmaster Flash

UncleUncle:
Melle Mel

CoolUncle:
Slick Rick

MamaCass:
MC Lyte

BigBrother:
Rakim

CousinGods:
DJ Premier
Pete Rock

TheUntouchables:
Jaylib

Ref.1:
The Alchenist

Ref.2:
9th Wonder

Commentators:
MF DOOM
DJ Jazzy Jeff

The Troll:
Funkmaster Flex

Africa:
Eminem

Europe:
Jay-Z

North America:
Nas

South America:
Big Pun

Asia:
Drake

Australia:
Lil Wayne

Antarctica:
Sean Price

PBS:
Dr. Dre

SpikeTV:
P. Diddy

TheTargetMarket:
FDAliens

TheRunway:
Harlem, 125th Street, from East to West

TheProvingGround:
EyoDub (EOW; End of the Weak), Brooklyn, NY

Lovers'Lane:
The Ave, Queens, NY

Darwinism:
The Bronx, NY

Wonderland:
Staten Island, NY

MustSeeTV:
Tim & Bob

TheDooitLikeThis:
The Roots

#goals:
Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, Cleveland, OH

Reality Check:
Los Angeles, CA

TheMoreYouKnow:
Atlanta, GA

Desire:
London, England

LoLland:
Amsterdam (EU)

Italy:
Egypt

HookersOnThePoint:
Beyonce
Rihanna
Nicki Minaj

TheHouse:
The Great Pyramid of Giza, Giza Necropolis (Egypt)

Player 2:

Daft Punk

I am The Sun.
I have a Halo.
The Devils are my desire.

Many Whites have died for The Netherworld to exist.
Many Blacks have died to enter The Netherworld.

All the world is a stage.

Newcomers arrive everyday.
Legends rise at will.

But one false step, and WE ALL become...

Supervillians.

You've been warned.




("...for the takeover...!")

-so mote it be 

DreVine Intervention

Dr. Dre is reaching out to Goths.
The above, with the surface meaning(s) in the Air and Spirit.

Not for nothing, but...

The Suicidal 6

June 6th, 2020

-so mote it be

Deep, Deep Trouble!

I played this song for VSDiamond, and she was speechless.

I have a story about The Roots.

That originates in FDA.

Whether Mrs. Hamilton, Jr. is ?uestlove and Black Thought is DEAD my boss or not, HchO (my "pops") sampled "Break You Off".

Now, he didn't chop the shit out of it, but... he chopped the shit out of it.

I just didn't see it.
I saw him play the chops.

A week before... nah, like... a little while before then...
Nah.

That school year (2004), NFO/Demevolist ran the school with their music.

Shalayna Greene was a part of the "All We Got" project.

HchO sampled Miss Greene on an MPC 3000.
She sang the hook live.

My 3rd eye saw her crying profusely.

In the (fuckinnnggggggggg...) lazer tag game of keeping professional as a "wild BOI", I ended up walking with Shaylana Green and Jackie dead-dont-pause-me-for-forgetting-your-last-name.
Passed this effervescent gust from the dry cleaners and Associated Supermarket.
Conversation was all that.

Babe, I dead can't elaborate, because I'm about to elaborate.

I just blacked.

And got more to go.

Black Thought came up in a few conversations while Demevolist transitioned from high school clique to Interscope/Universal Artist Development Company.

So did Shalayna Greene.

Black Thought got love.

I was the one that asked about Shalayna Greene.

I might've seen her too, at Kia P(_)nn's birthday party.

I was smacked.

But yeah.

I think this sick feeling in my stomach I get about FDA (please don't) comes from being the one to ask about Shalayna (and Kia).

Fast forward, 2015.

I was in LAX with my mom.
I've had my share of problems with my mom.
The calming factor led to a disturbance in The Netherworld (listen to any song).

I'm on the sidewalk with mom, having a cig, and... here comes Black Thought.

I doubted it was him, but didn't want to give off bad vibes.

But... if you're just tuning in, I was on a 4or trip.

Meaning, if you aren't Jack, George or Dilla, fuck you.

You just gon have to take those, y'all.

But yeah.

Mom and I walk into baggage claim, and... there he is again.

I'm not shading him.
I just don't want to deal with what me being wrong about him being Black Thought could mean.

On "Boy Who Played With Barbie", I had a heated discussion with someone I thought was 2Chainz.
It's recorded on "Level Up".

The story of the war between ?uestlove and I is well-documented.
At least on my part.

But nice is nice.

I've been sleeping on ?uesto, and I don't say anyone is nicer than me.
I'm just insecure.

The very vulnerability to lose any match.

I love J Dilla.

And I'm not trying to lose his favor.
Or love in general.

J Dilla is as worthy of worship as I am.
Same with Madlib.

?uesto being up there, honestly, enrages me.

Black Thought being what Drake is becoming, (strangely) bothers me.

I am currently listening to CommonxHi-Tek, "Tekzilla".

VibeItOut, y'all.

-so mote it be

Living Single

Lately, Ive been thinking about getting a house.
Dreams of a clown, you know?

But Im single.

BaddieBitch exists, but is INCREDIBLY high-maintenance and doesnt enjoy sex much.
Valera has a son, and I am not connected with him to raise him effectively.
The above said, avoiding the VERY caveman-esque feeling I have about it all.
VS got her own, including a new man, so that's out of the question.

Being in a big house with a studio would lead to depression phases that show no happy ending.

So, I'd want an apartment.

But to have one would draw the urge to have company.
The ideal guests I'd have aren't showing interest in me, at all.
I know I can be overbearing with love, but a little wink here and there makes days.
Then, I can't trust my StarChasers, because of the very music I share.

My male friends are few and far between, and the warning signs I avoided have led to social meltdowns.

If I get another place, I will be alone.
Again.

I accept that I am The Hermit.
But I would like a her to be a mit to.
I would like a smoking buddy.
I would like to throw house parties.
I also want to play my music, loud, whenever.

Can't do that in an apartment.

So, I want a house.

I would invite Grandma and Uncle.
Cook dinner, maybe spin for them.
But eventually, they will leave.
And I will be alone.

I do not desire poverty or homelessness.
Though a great song, dependency is not a goal.

I want my own.
Again.

And I want it, alone.

But... there's love.
The treasure Ive been searching for since before forever.

Don't bust that nut, we'll be right back after these messages.

-so mote it be 

Egyptian Tomb (tentative title) official vid

Shot on an iPhone.

More music, soon.

-so mote it be

SLAVE Mentality official video

Directed by Sebastian *Bash* Acevedo.

Shouts to DJ Jazzy Jeff.
And Ruben Studdard.

More videos to come.

-so mote it be

A spell, as produced by 9th Wonder (exec. producer, Timbaland)

I feed her a blunt, throw on the "Quiet Storm".

She repeatedly cum, consistently all morn'.

And she needed 'cause funds up in the purse not growin'.

Bitch, beat it; my one's you gets none (Nada).

To feel she's treated as if a Playboy'll play her dumb.

I skeeted so bitch, your Playboy is on the run.

Deleted the bitch; outta direct connection.

Thanks for calming' down my erection, hun.

(lest I remind you... rather, inform you that it only takes a hair trigger to turn a spell to a curse; antagonize wisely)

-so mote it be

...and The News

Alone I found myself in.
Alone, I found myself in.
Alone, I found myself, in.

In finding myself, I found alone.
Again.

I have a new instrument.
A new means of creativity.
And I want to spend time with it.
However, Id be required to be alone.

Which is somewhat required itself, as far as quarantine and social distancing.

It's Charles Hamilton.
I want to keep it.
But I am conditioned to sharing.
I didnt have a lot, growing up.
And what I had, I wasnt allowed to share.
So I kept music.
Extremely to myself.

A lot of my critics missed the boat with their careers.
Or want to get a boost from my sector of space.

My new instrument knows I love it.
I have a name for her, but its a familiar name in The Hamilton Quazar, and I dont want to be any more paralyzed by the holder of such name than I already am.

LoveLove, princess.

Serious chest congestion, rn.

Imagine waking up to the participants of the 1989 Royal Rumble standing over your sleeping body.
Are you... rather, would you be as critical of them then as opposed to seeing them on TV and being numb to their mighty presence?

How do you judge what made you fall in love?

Guns hold feelings.
Blades are numb.

SEGA said I was beautiful.

-so mote it be

Shy and photogenic

photogenic and Shy

I feel like I embarrassed myself on Tianne King's live last week.

The strangest feeling, when the chips are down.

What is so dire about life (and my life) at the moment?

Why am I so sad?

It could be... literally... it could be the nature of The Hamilton.

I could just naturally be sad.

I dead beat suicide.

I don't even know if I'm alive right now.

This is a good high.

But yeah.

I'm shy and photogenic.

(LMAO, because....... lol you'd just have to be here to get the joke)

I don't want to talk anymore.

I don't want to send out vibrations psychically.

I definitely feel like people are using me against me.

What is it like to be a brat?

I feel as good as I think I look.

Wanna make me cum?

Make me feel as good as I feel I look.

Alas, that's not an enticing offer to who I want to be enticed by it.

So... Gothic Bob Newhart it is.

Bob Nu-Hop, as I call myself.

I'm gonna take some more of these pills and sit on the dock of the bay.

See? 

I am taking my meds!

Happy Halloween, y'all.

#EverydayThe31st.

-so mote it be

Lyte's Intervention

Yeah, it's been a minute since I spoke to Lyte.
Cousin Rox, too.

But Lyte said some shit on The L Word that literally saved and ended the day.
In summary, dont give up on love.

Making this blog entry quick, my love is a life-taker.

...like "Look, bitch..."

Still early, coffee run in a few.
And I gotta potty really bad.

Ghost.

-so mote it be

The shit that they shot Pac over...

I spent almost 12 years giving politically correct statements, in place of my non-negotiable opinion(s).
I will now share what I feel.
About whatever is in my mind.

Let's go.

There are VERY FEW dope MCs from the west coast.
There are VERY FEW dope producers from the east coast.
No female singer has had a good voice since Fantasia.
Kanye West is overrated and uninformed.
Kendrick is not a good rapper.
J Cole is boring, duplicitous and deceptive.
AKAs and Eastern Stars are NOWHERE NEAR more attractive than FDAliens.
I beat Serius Jones AND Rone, and neither want smoke still.
Im not afraid of anything, anybody or anyone.
My daughters matter more than you to me.

I spend everyday trying not to feel overlooked or underappreciated by SEGA.
They are not a cash cow or a meal ticket.
They just better know who loves them.

I dead have more to say.
I just wanted to express the first layer of street residue.

Enjoy your morning.

-so mote it be

Under blackblondreddyegray

I want to talk about my mom more.
The more I self-analyze, the more I see we have in common
And how much she looked out for me.

A few can provide opposition, but I am a gentleman.
I realized that I want to become the man or kind of man that would make my mom happy.

Moms was a Queens Bitch.
Nothing makes them happy.

I want to talk about my mom more.
More often.
More.

I want to talk about my mom more.

Nowadays when I'm mad at Talise, I claim my mom is Chaka Khan.
That way, mom won't smite me from wherever she is, know I love her and hate her enough to take something she loves and make it mine.

I do the same with my dad.
My dad loves Jimi Hendrix.
Biological, hereditary or not, I love JHendrix too.
So I... well, embodied his presence and spirit wherever I go.

Which scares me.
I feel a cold chill over my right shoulder and want to fuck a goth girl every step of the way.

Right now, Talise and Charles, Sr. are not my parents.
It's Jimi and Chaka.
But Talise will always be my mom and Charles, Sr. will always be my dad.

I want to be greater than my dad.
I want to love a woman like my mom deserved to be loved.

Despite.
Along with.

Even when she didn't treat me like that kind of love was necessary for her.
Is this how you treat a growing boy who's witnessed domestic violence YOU went through?

I'm just venting.

(post edited, as I learn about this new genre I been into)

Mom didn't approve of Witchcraft when I first introduced it.
She's not here right now.
I did not kill my mother.

Silence interrupted by a sigh.
My sigh.
My psy.
Psylens.

-so mote it be