#NMe

 

2021.

Game.

#NMe

 -so mote it be

Cunnilingus eye-contact

Time will be spent.

Tears will be shed.

And...

oh yes.

There will be blood.

-so mote it be

 

Columbine Gang: The 0fficial

^

^

The Sine

From W_land...

#9th

From Austrailia...

#DJGreenLantern

From Cali Oriental...

#ALC

From Parts Unknown...

#CHJrEsq.

Clear the area.

-so mote it be 

 

Prof. Hamilton [#NxtSzn]

Technically, The#Villain. has succeeded. 

I got what I wanted. 

And needed.

Shit, with interest.

Heist completed. 

Do I want more?

Do I want to teach?

Do I want an apprentice?

Do I want a significant?

From here, I can indulge.

See you around.

-so mote it be 

 

Creator Player (a work in progress)

Addicts of light and love,

Products of love and light,

Please have mercy on my shyness.

For the rest of life's night.

For the rest of night's life.

For life to rest at night.

The taste of the snake's root is my meal.

The face of the breakthrough is my real.

Love has been my only desire.

Now, it is to douse the lake of fire with cold hard cash.

Is that too much to ask?

Perhaps,

I should have asked to have The Sun

First. 

The Sun didn't want to be seen today.

But I love it.

And it loves you.

May you continue to love it.

Love it back.

I love you, Sunshine.

I only want to make you proud and happy.

May I not feel so bad alone.

May I be a joy when around others. 

May others find my darkness as heartwarming. 

Father Lucifer

Mother Beelzebub 

Uncle Damien

Tis I, The Good Son.

Forsake not Mark for me.

🙃

-so mote it be 

New CH genre

Nu-Hop was created in Harlem, NY, and founded in Providence, Rhode Island.

Vampire Music was created and founded in Harlem, NY.

The #Fusion between Vampire Music and Nu-Hop occured in Long Island, NY.

SUPERTrance was created and founded in Richmond, VA. 

NDM (Nu-Doom Metal) was founded in Long Island, NY.




Jamaican Rock was created in Brooklyn, NY and founded in Queens, NY.

Thank you, Heiro (twitter.com/h6ero).

StarChasersToEternity.

-so mote it be

Introducing "Jr.", to The Uncoolest Part o' Town...

[camera pans to left from entrance...]

...the kid's got potential, no lie/no joke.

Check him out (here) in #TheHamiltonQuazar.

jrvarcity.blogspot.com

-so mote it be

Villainova U.

-so mote it be

Secrets and Privacy instrumentals

Presented with their actual, Macintosh-pushed sound (GarageBand).

Sorry 'bout last night...
Sorry 'bout last night...
Sorry 'bout last night...

-so mote it be

(post revised for comfort)

Heavy's Workout (a freewrite)

As much as I don't want to need to hold your hand,

I'm right here.

I will be learning from you,

As much as I will not be teaching you.

Still, our common ground is what makes us opposites.

You read plays.

I write them.

Holy shit!

You're writing plays!

Awesome, dude!

I'm learning how to sight read.

I can write... yeah. I can write music.

I have the credentials to be a Mastering Engineer.

You can play QB, HB, WR, TE, RB, DE...

...and that's just football!

I was always told not to engage in too much physical activity.

I was a pretty boy.

My looks made me money.

As far as modeling.

I would excersize in my room.

Uncountable pushups and situps.

Whilst I listen to WWF songs, or BIg Pun or LL Cool J.

I would shadowbox.

Get my hands faster.

I would work on stamina.

Truth be told, if I had spent more time working on music than preparing for self-defense, I'd feel a lot better about these days.

These days, everyone is J Dilla.

These days, no one can jam.

Sonic is in our hearts.

SEGA is in our blood.

Reverence for them is nothing.

Tolerance, being a factor, is bewildering.

If you're learning from me, know this:

MAKE SURE you love someone if you have to let them go.

BigHeav!

Hopefully I'll get to see you one day.

"YOU'RE DISMISSED!!!"

-so mote it be

Not So Fast (a freewrite)

Cigars have stained my teeth.
Yet I am more comfortable smiling than before.
And feel wrong about it.
I feel sexy enough to shoot shots at the most glorious.
As I cock the pistol, the forewarned bears the arms of fore(-).

The glory of benevolent conceit.

What do you say to the black of soil?
What do you say to the white of follicle?

I signed a CosmicContract with you.

There are no breakups.
None that either of us will survive, at least.

And yet the inherited mortal need of confirmation puts you in position to dominate.

But I signed a CosmicContract with you.

The stars know.
Your star knows.
My star knows.

The stars know.

Im already sick ofwith withof love.
There is a more qualified and compatible man out there.
Factually.

I dwell in my pariah cocoon and create.
The asexual butterfly.

For so long it's been this way.

Neither of us were prepared for the Contract.
But we signed it.
We fucking signed it.

And remained professional.

Lest we be reminded what professionalism entails.

There are exes, crushes, flings, soulmates, dreamgirls, celebs and lust factors.
Pieces of my body, heart and soul can be found in each.

My mind troubled at the thought.

I am spoken for.

All I can do is create.

I signed a CosmicContract with you.
Upon arrival.
Before impact.
On contact.
No contact.

You will always be where I think you are.

-so mote it be

NatureBOY!

Games without frontiers,

War without fear.

-so mote it be

Boyz2Men

-so mote it be

Proverbs of the Pathetic

On EnterTheHamilton, I talked about how my next relationship is my last.

I am prepared to live The Diane Warren Lyfestile.
Make music for the heart, from an empty heart.
Forever.
At my pace.

I am miserable just thinking about it.

The difference between my next relationship and life with Briana is, I was HYPERfocused on music, as it was what paid the bills.
I put up with her spazouts, made my music, felt how I felt, and...
...well, there.

My next relationship will be Gothic.
Nothing ends a Gothic relationship.

Except a breakup.

I'm seriously in no rush to get into a relationship.

You awlreddae know I'm NUTS about FDAliens.
We're kinda at a point where it's all or nothing.

As in, every FDAlien EVER and CH or... we go our own way.

No picking, no choosing.

This chick I'd date is superelusive.

Damn.
As I write this, I feel my longing for romance die and rot in my chest.

I don't feel good about love anymore.

I'm sorry, VSDiamond and Ariel Lawrence.
For all that I should be sorry for.

Love has been cruel to me.
All forms of love.

Right now, in the world, everyone is okay.
Except me.
And they waste no time belittling me for it.

All I want is a lady with a lap to baptize my face in.
Drown her crotch with tears.
Emerge from her abyss with motivation and joy.

I am now nauseous from love.

Romantic.
Familial.
Platonic.

Daaaaamn...

My fucking...
Nah.
I'ma leave her out of this.

TOO deep of a gash.

I don't feel good.

Like... here is where a nigga turns to Jesus.

Or Dayquan.




I'm gonna...
...I'm gonna lay down.

-so mote it be

Midget Mobile

We are facing a merger.
The last time my generation faced a merger this big, nothing was the same.

We are facing a merger of proportions unscriptured.

Macintosh (APL) & Tesla (TSLA)

In the spirit of pet names and foresight, together they form...

Midget Mobile

.

Advanced electricty and solar-powered computers will, literally and in every sense, propel the future.

Communication will be enhanced.

The processing of food will be revolutionized.
Forever.

Education will be faster than immaturity.

What is, shall remain.
In the future.
Of today.

What was will be preserved.
For the processing of today's tomorrow.
And tomorrow's today.

Developments and prototypes will surface starting December 2020.





Get down.

-so mote it be

14 hours of thought

Wounds taste good.

--Aliens!

...ETs...

...okay.

I just learned that Fender makes a Telecaster.
I have been away from what's new in the music industry.
Not music business.
The music business is where the -Illuminati talk comes from.
The music industry is the production, development and distribution of music hardware and software.

Once I found my ideal turntable deck, I didn't look at what was new on the market.
I see the Whammy guitar, I fell in love with this Pioneer controller, and I have a new signature keyboard.

Still love you, Yamaha (#MotifMotif!).
And the Korg Triton will always be the hot upperclassman I'm too square to be with.

But yo.
A TELEcaster.
The Stratocaster held it/life/music down for CENTURIES.
I GOTTA know what a Telecaster is.

Oh, the possibilities.

At an AirBnB with Sebastian.
We just dropped a joint on his Bandcamp.
Gonna be streaming live later.


#productionsession.

This chick I'd date and I are so deep in, we're starting again.
Baddie disappeared.
VS is making dreams come true and breaking hearts.
DJ SnS is spinning for 4th of July (and I mean I dead fought laughter as I typed it).

My marital status is ONE.

Being said, I will reintroduce The Way of The Scorpion in a post, soon.

Not to be slept on.

Wounds taste good.
Forgive me for licking mine musically.

Everyone is causing yours and putting salt in mine.

Love you all.

Rage elbows to the faces of deterrence.

[I need a Toe Lewinski)

-so mote it be

Sumwutuvufreewrite

It has been one-sided.
My entire life.
This love thing of ours.
Pain and numbness led me to make it a competition between us.
Who loves who more.
Who can love who more.
Who could love who more.

At the peak of my second-guessing, she reminds me we're married.
Such, as and when it benefits her.

She is so beautiful.
The kind of beauty to render a man stupid.

I sit here, reminded of my open mind and closed heart.
My closed mind and open heart.
My open mind and heart.

The void.

She will laugh at me.
I will cry for her.

Chivalry will die at the hands of women.

-so mote it be

Careless whisper

I

hurt

my

self...

So we're clear that I am a porn connoisseur.
I have my preferences, favorite movies and actresses, and have taken notes on... well, how to do it.

Shouts to Peter North and Mr. Marcus.

I've written songs and esoteric lines about... 2 in particular, but... may faves know who they are.

I

hurt

my

self
...
one day.

I found the jenesecois of the beautiful, untouchable, unapproachable femaliens in my life in many of the stars and starlets I adore.

I indulged.

And I
...
hurt myself.

Already in a macho enviroment, I snuck off into the bathroom and watched them.
Already insecure, I watched them get done right.
Already alone, I heard pleas unheard in my own bedroom endeavors.

And I continued.

As I arrived (15 minutes of heartbroken forced self-pleasure), I told the one I was watching that I love her.
Out loud.
The pain was so great, it made me cum more.

Masturbation is the new carving.
And I dont want to cum anymore.

Beating suicide is a goal itself.
Continuing to live while everything pushes you in that direction makes life seem like a scheme to make one do it.

Yet porn is an addiction.
Of course Im gonna watch you again.
You get nothing but chivalry from me when and if we cross paths.

Still...

I

hurt

my

self...





Today.

-so mote it be

The trouble with being myself (possible sequel)

I forever want people to drive around blasting my music.
I am horridly shy.
I always want a mob of women chasing whatever car I'm in.
I'm a klutz.

Mentally, I may be blocking my own success.
Not only do I overthink, I feel like people would be blasting my music and wildly embracing me, for their own cruel humor's sake and to my detriment.
And though I know all my songs, I don't know the lyrics by heart for everything.

When you record music... I'll go so far as to say even in production, your memory is key.

So... I can vouch for the fact I know "Loser", "Brooklyn Girls" and "New York Raining" by heart, and that's why they went so far.

Also, though I speak for and on the behalf of the voiceless and weary, TheElite know, understand and USE my music better.
The best.

For their own cruel sense of humor and the detriment of... almost us all.

THE AUDIENCE OF MUSIC IN GENERAL is the artist, and has to appeal to those otherwise turned off by his/my very self.

So nah.
I don't make music for everyone.
And yeah.
I am staying true to music.

The objective is to provide a living for myself (and what's mine) through music, mass media and education.
I applied to/for Five Towns College again recently.
With good quality work in the above fields, execution of such is the sole factor of concern.

Ain't nothin' to it but to do it.

Alas, diplomacy is vital.
I can't be beefing with... really anyone, and expect not to have roadblocks.

I gotta dead this back and forth with Jay.
I gotta let go of my gripe with Drake.
I gotta make sure Em and I are still cool.

As far as Demevolist, I've said some negative things on record, so have they.
I saw HchO and Sha-leik last year, the night before I moved to Bmore.
Very few words.
High tension.

I've been more in touch with my #LehmanGang than Demev members.
We DEAD ASS came up together.

If you know, you know.

Obviously, I'm not over TheExDA.
I just don't wanna sweat them and get played.

#placement

So I'm making myself more worth while.
Which may mean I have to get a bit arrogant.

You've been warned.





-so mote it

TS6TS6TS6TS6

Click here.
Click here.
Click here.




Click here.Click here.Click here.Click here.Click here.Click here.


Click here.Click here.Click here.Click here.Click here.Click here.Click here.


Click here.Click here.Click here.
Click here.
Click here.
Click here.

Click here.

Click here.

Click here.

Click here.

-so mote it be

June 6th, 2020

The Suicidal 6

-so mote it be

Vandalizm.

#ReallyCharles
#PacHam
#CHz
#NasHamilton
#Haminem
#ChamWrong
#CharlesPrice
#Papilton
#PimpCH
#MidPunisher

-so mote it be

From Whooville...

-so mote it be

Goth Model_..._GothGoth Model

I really don't think I'm ugly.
So that's not why I'm alone.

I really think I'm husband material.
That CAN'T be why I'm alone.

I cook, can clean, make love, and have been practicing being a father for almost 15 years.
That being the reason I'm alone reflects negatively on females.

My worth is more than I admit to.
Because you know it.

And yes.
I do have a commitment issue.
My rationale is justified by the female race, in general, point blank, period.

Doth not a gardener smoke weed?

-so mote it be

The Netherworld

FatherGod:
Kool Herc

UncleDaddy:
Grandmaster Flash

UncleUncle:
Melle Mel

CoolUncle:
Slick Rick

MamaCass:
MC Lyte

BigBrother:
Rakim

CousinGods:
DJ Premier
Pete Rock

TheUntouchables:
Jaylib

Ref.1:
The Alchenist

Ref.2:
9th Wonder

Commentators:
MF DOOM
DJ Jazzy Jeff

The Troll:
Funkmaster Flex

Africa:
Eminem

Europe:
Jay-Z

North America:
Nas

South America:
Big Pun

Asia:
Drake

Australia:
Lil Wayne

Antarctica:
Sean Price

PBS:
Dr. Dre

SpikeTV:
P. Diddy

TheTargetMarket:
FDAliens

TheRunway:
Harlem, 125th Street, from East to West

TheProvingGround:
EyoDub (EOW; End of the Weak), Brooklyn, NY

Lovers'Lane:
The Ave, Queens, NY

Darwinism:
The Bronx, NY

Wonderland:
Staten Island, NY

MustSeeTV:
Tim & Bob

TheDooitLikeThis:
The Roots

#goals:
Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, Cleveland, OH

Reality Check:
Los Angeles, CA

TheMoreYouKnow:
Atlanta, GA

Desire:
London, England

LoLland:
Amsterdam (EU)

Italy:
Egypt

HookersOnThePoint:
Beyonce
Rihanna
Nicki Minaj

TheHouse:
The Great Pyramid of Giza, Giza Necropolis (Egypt)

Player 2:

Daft Punk

I am The Sun.
I have a Halo.
The Devils are my desire.

Many Whites have died for The Netherworld to exist.
Many Blacks have died to enter The Netherworld.

All the world is a stage.

Newcomers arrive everyday.
Legends rise at will.

But one false step, and WE ALL become...

Supervillians.

You've been warned.




("...for the takeover...!")

-so mote it be 

DreVine Intervention

Dr. Dre is reaching out to Goths.
The above, with the surface meaning(s) in the Air and Spirit.

Not for nothing, but...

The Suicidal 6

June 6th, 2020

-so mote it be

Deep, Deep Trouble!

I played this song for VSDiamond, and she was speechless.

I have a story about The Roots.

That originates in FDA.

Whether Mrs. Hamilton, Jr. is ?uestlove and Black Thought is DEAD my boss or not, HchO (my "pops") sampled "Break You Off".

Now, he didn't chop the shit out of it, but... he chopped the shit out of it.

I just didn't see it.
I saw him play the chops.

A week before... nah, like... a little while before then...
Nah.

That school year (2004), NFO/Demevolist ran the school with their music.

Shalayna Greene was a part of the "All We Got" project.

HchO sampled Miss Greene on an MPC 3000.
She sang the hook live.

My 3rd eye saw her crying profusely.

In the (fuckinnnggggggggg...) lazer tag game of keeping professional as a "wild BOI", I ended up walking with Shaylana Green and Jackie dead-dont-pause-me-for-forgetting-your-last-name.
Passed this effervescent gust from the dry cleaners and Associated Supermarket.
Conversation was all that.

Babe, I dead can't elaborate, because I'm about to elaborate.

I just blacked.

And got more to go.

Black Thought came up in a few conversations while Demevolist transitioned from high school clique to Interscope/Universal Artist Development Company.

So did Shalayna Greene.

Black Thought got love.

I was the one that asked about Shalayna Greene.

I might've seen her too, at Kia P(_)nn's birthday party.

I was smacked.

But yeah.

I think this sick feeling in my stomach I get about FDA (please don't) comes from being the one to ask about Shalayna (and Kia).

Fast forward, 2015.

I was in LAX with my mom.
I've had my share of problems with my mom.
The calming factor led to a disturbance in The Netherworld (listen to any song).

I'm on the sidewalk with mom, having a cig, and... here comes Black Thought.

I doubted it was him, but didn't want to give off bad vibes.

But... if you're just tuning in, I was on a 4or trip.

Meaning, if you aren't Jack, George or Dilla, fuck you.

You just gon have to take those, y'all.

But yeah.

Mom and I walk into baggage claim, and... there he is again.

I'm not shading him.
I just don't want to deal with what me being wrong about him being Black Thought could mean.

On "Boy Who Played With Barbie", I had a heated discussion with someone I thought was 2Chainz.
It's recorded on "Level Up".

The story of the war between ?uestlove and I is well-documented.
At least on my part.

But nice is nice.

I've been sleeping on ?uesto, and I don't say anyone is nicer than me.
I'm just insecure.

The very vulnerability to lose any match.

I love J Dilla.

And I'm not trying to lose his favor.
Or love in general.

J Dilla is as worthy of worship as I am.
Same with Madlib.

?uesto being up there, honestly, enrages me.

Black Thought being what Drake is becoming, (strangely) bothers me.

I am currently listening to CommonxHi-Tek, "Tekzilla".

VibeItOut, y'all.

-so mote it be

Living Single

Lately, Ive been thinking about getting a house.
Dreams of a clown, you know?

But Im single.

BaddieBitch exists, but is INCREDIBLY high-maintenance and doesnt enjoy sex much.
Valera has a son, and I am not connected with him to raise him effectively.
The above said, avoiding the VERY caveman-esque feeling I have about it all.
VS got her own, including a new man, so that's out of the question.

Being in a big house with a studio would lead to depression phases that show no happy ending.

So, I'd want an apartment.

But to have one would draw the urge to have company.
The ideal guests I'd have aren't showing interest in me, at all.
I know I can be overbearing with love, but a little wink here and there makes days.
Then, I can't trust my StarChasers, because of the very music I share.

My male friends are few and far between, and the warning signs I avoided have led to social meltdowns.

If I get another place, I will be alone.
Again.

I accept that I am The Hermit.
But I would like a her to be a mit to.
I would like a smoking buddy.
I would like to throw house parties.
I also want to play my music, loud, whenever.

Can't do that in an apartment.

So, I want a house.

I would invite Grandma and Uncle.
Cook dinner, maybe spin for them.
But eventually, they will leave.
And I will be alone.

I do not desire poverty or homelessness.
Though a great song, dependency is not a goal.

I want my own.
Again.

And I want it, alone.

But... there's love.
The treasure Ive been searching for since before forever.

Don't bust that nut, we'll be right back after these messages.

-so mote it be 

Egyptian Tomb (tentative title) official vid

Shot on an iPhone.

More music, soon.

-so mote it be

SLAVE Mentality official video

Directed by Sebastian *Bash* Acevedo.

Shouts to DJ Jazzy Jeff.
And Ruben Studdard.

More videos to come.

-so mote it be

A spell, as produced by 9th Wonder (exec. producer, Timbaland)

I feed her a blunt, throw on the "Quiet Storm".

She repeatedly cum, consistently all morn'.

And she needed 'cause funds up in the purse not growin'.

Bitch, beat it; my one's you gets none (Nada).

To feel she's treated as if a Playboy'll play her dumb.

I skeeted so bitch, your Playboy is on the run.

Deleted the bitch; outta direct connection.

Thanks for calming' down my erection, hun.

(lest I remind you... rather, inform you that it only takes a hair trigger to turn a spell to a curse; antagonize wisely)

-so mote it be

...and The News

Alone I found myself in.
Alone, I found myself in.
Alone, I found myself, in.

In finding myself, I found alone.
Again.

I have a new instrument.
A new means of creativity.
And I want to spend time with it.
However, Id be required to be alone.

Which is somewhat required itself, as far as quarantine and social distancing.

It's Charles Hamilton.
I want to keep it.
But I am conditioned to sharing.
I didnt have a lot, growing up.
And what I had, I wasnt allowed to share.
So I kept music.
Extremely to myself.

A lot of my critics missed the boat with their careers.
Or want to get a boost from my sector of space.

My new instrument knows I love it.
I have a name for her, but its a familiar name in The Hamilton Quazar, and I dont want to be any more paralyzed by the holder of such name than I already am.

LoveLove, princess.

Serious chest congestion, rn.

Imagine waking up to the participants of the 1989 Royal Rumble standing over your sleeping body.
Are you... rather, would you be as critical of them then as opposed to seeing them on TV and being numb to their mighty presence?

How do you judge what made you fall in love?

Guns hold feelings.
Blades are numb.

SEGA said I was beautiful.

-so mote it be

Shy and photogenic

photogenic and Shy

I feel like I embarrassed myself on Tianne King's live last week.

The strangest feeling, when the chips are down.

What is so dire about life (and my life) at the moment?

Why am I so sad?

It could be... literally... it could be the nature of The Hamilton.

I could just naturally be sad.

I dead beat suicide.

I don't even know if I'm alive right now.

This is a good high.

But yeah.

I'm shy and photogenic.

(LMAO, because....... lol you'd just have to be here to get the joke)

I don't want to talk anymore.

I don't want to send out vibrations psychically.

I definitely feel like people are using me against me.

What is it like to be a brat?

I feel as good as I think I look.

Wanna make me cum?

Make me feel as good as I feel I look.

Alas, that's not an enticing offer to who I want to be enticed by it.

So... Gothic Bob Newhart it is.

Bob Nu-Hop, as I call myself.

I'm gonna take some more of these pills and sit on the dock of the bay.

See? 

I am taking my meds!

Happy Halloween, y'all.

#EverydayThe31st.

-so mote it be

Lyte's Intervention

Yeah, it's been a minute since I spoke to Lyte.
Cousin Rox, too.

But Lyte said some shit on The L Word that literally saved and ended the day.
In summary, dont give up on love.

Making this blog entry quick, my love is a life-taker.

...like "Look, bitch..."

Still early, coffee run in a few.
And I gotta potty really bad.

Ghost.

-so mote it be

The shit that they shot Pac over...

I spent almost 12 years giving politically correct statements, in place of my non-negotiable opinion(s).
I will now share what I feel.
About whatever is in my mind.

Let's go.

There are VERY FEW dope MCs from the west coast.
There are VERY FEW dope producers from the east coast.
No female singer has had a good voice since Fantasia.
Kanye West is overrated and uninformed.
Kendrick is not a good rapper.
J Cole is boring, duplicitous and deceptive.
AKAs and Eastern Stars are NOWHERE NEAR more attractive than FDAliens.
I beat Serius Jones AND Rone, and neither want smoke still.
Im not afraid of anything, anybody or anyone.
My daughters matter more than you to me.

I spend everyday trying not to feel overlooked or underappreciated by SEGA.
They are not a cash cow or a meal ticket.
They just better know who loves them.

I dead have more to say.
I just wanted to express the first layer of street residue.

Enjoy your morning.

-so mote it be

Under blackblondreddyegray

I want to talk about my mom more.
The more I self-analyze, the more I see we have in common
And how much she looked out for me.

A few can provide opposition, but I am a gentleman.
I realized that I want to become the man or kind of man that would make my mom happy.

Moms was a Queens Bitch.
Nothing makes them happy.

I want to talk about my mom more.
More often.
More.

I want to talk about my mom more.

Nowadays when I'm mad at Talise, I claim my mom is Chaka Khan.
That way, mom won't smite me from wherever she is, know I love her and hate her enough to take something she loves and make it mine.

I do the same with my dad.
My dad loves Jimi Hendrix.
Biological, hereditary or not, I love JHendrix too.
So I... well, embodied his presence and spirit wherever I go.

Which scares me.
I feel a cold chill over my right shoulder and want to fuck a goth girl every step of the way.

Right now, Talise and Charles, Sr. are not my parents.
It's Jimi and Chaka.
But Talise will always be my mom and Charles, Sr. will always be my dad.

I want to be greater than my dad.
I want to love a woman like my mom deserved to be loved.

Despite.
Along with.

Even when she didn't treat me like that kind of love was necessary for her.
Is this how you treat a growing boy who's witnessed domestic violence YOU went through?

I'm just venting.

(post edited, as I learn about this new genre I been into)

Mom didn't approve of Witchcraft when I first introduced it.
She's not here right now.
I did not kill my mother.

Silence interrupted by a sigh.
My sigh.
My psy.
Psylens.

-so mote it be

Breathe out

so I can breathe you in.

I dont want to die anymore.
I dont want to kill anymore.
I dont want to love anymore.

I only want to make music.
I only want to make magic.
I need to make money.
I have a mission.
I must meditate.

I have a direction I am going in.
Been in.
After being jacked before manifestation.
Karma has not been a friend.
God is a bully.
Allah works, but to your detriment.

I dont want to diss anymore.
I dont want to kiss anymore.

I want to spin.
(I want to) collect.

I am afraid of cocaine.
But fuck the connect.

I have a literal free pass to break your fucking face.
And Im still counting the Prince money you gave me.
PLUS the Kanye checks.

Lol I just abused cocaine.
In front of you.

I no longer share weed.
If I cant have my own, I'll work till I get it.
And feel blessed if I offer you some.

Right?

That's what it is for me.
...
With everything else.

...

You dead ass only think about yourself.
For years I thought I was selfish.
I needed and need more than any want I can conjure up.

Save me some.
I know I asked, so you don't have to, but...
Save me some.

When it comes, feel it, take it and don't make me feel bad about it.

You got it.

You got it.

-so mote it be

Vice City (a freewrite)

Pick your poison.
Pour your own poison.

The next time I see you, you will be someone else.
Someone I know, but cant share.
And you will be with someone else.
Someone I share, but cant know.
And he will be displaying you as the someone you are.
Not as the someone you will be.

The hiss between us is deafening.
The rage of our lust is numbing.
The love of our game is deadly.

Youre playing with someone else.

I hate you.
You happy?
I hate you.

If you cant feel the misery in the inaudible I love you, you deserve to lose.

You are the one thing I dont know.
I know you too well.
Sickness infiltrates my body.
I think of your smile.
On death's bed, you heal me.

Only to kill me later.

The pill subsides.
The thrill moves on.
Your actions will be remembered.

Dont regret me.
You neglect me.

I hear your footsteps.

I claw into my collarbone.
Is this desire?
I long to provide.
Am i not who I should provide for?
I cannot allow you to be the lion.

You are too beautiful.

I remain Scorpio the Scorpion.
You are The Aardvark of The Sun.
Time reveals you to be a Capricorn.
You are balance.
You are balanced.

You were my balance.

Fuck you.
From the scum-like residue in my heart called love, from which I fed you with.
Unbeknownst to you.




Thats all i got.

-so mote it be

Hello, Satan

Hello, Satan _ Click here

Hello, Satan _ Click here

Hello, Satan _ Click here

Hello, Satan _ Click here

Hello, Satan _ Click here

-so mote it be

Can't stay away...

Kids have dreams.
Kids with similar dreams connect.
Even if nothing is what they have in common.

Ive had dreams.
Goals, intentions, motives, etc.
Ive achieved most of them.
Im closer to The Grammy than initially thought.

What i want to do now is sorta close to what Ive always wanted to do growing up.
Just more open minded.

Obviously, I want to find a woman.
Then make a lot of money.
Then move her in.
Then... binge on James Brown while on heroin.

Something tells me this is the recipe for a woman beater.
Well, i can fight the urge.
Ive been dealing with combative spirits sonce forever.
But no.
JB's music might fuel an uprising.

Here comes the heroin.

Two albums of mine that embody this wish are... fuck... looking back, too much to even talk about.

I'll discuss them in another post.

As I've explained, im fully in Villain. mode.
Love is no longer primary.
The Path of The Scorpion has been defined and is being treaded upon.
Should romance come my way, i am completely unprepared and can guarantee the me from day one will be the me in the end.

Understand from the last sentence that my optimism of a love everlasting is... gone.

Im still working on a project that takes time.
What were the other qualms?

Oh.
I stay on topic.
Im just not talking about you or what you want to hear.

You'll see.

-so mote it be

Another hiatus

Hope you're keeping count.

I'm gonna focus all my energy on one concentrated project, then go on a MUCH deserved break.

Hot Goth Summer.

do not try this at home.

-so mote it be

Where have you been? Where have you gone?

"The Prodigal Daughter" is my new all-time favorite CH song.
It's pretty much why I do it.
Anything i do.

I just want you to see me as cool.
YOU!
The prodigal daughter.

The hourglass broke.
The slight hope I had in serendipitous love is fading.
As the sands escape the glass, i am reminded of what could've been.
Two times over.
What i can say for myself is, i am kind, generous and loving.

I also am deeply and passionately in love with 6.
6 is deciding to keep its distance.
With me giving all my affection to 6, all i have left is rage.
My rage can he felt in my music.
I channel my rage through TWA (Tarot, Wicca, Alchemy).

No one wants me to do it.

It is the only thing that makes me happy and feel good.

2 romantic situations have been thwarted because of the fear of TheDarkArts.

If love should evade me one more time, there is no stopping the mystical abyss I shall dive into.

I mean it!

But nothing is gonna keep me from my daughter.
I dont know where she is.
I can feel her.

Daddy loves you, MorrowMorrow.

Danjer, dont you even start.

Crazh, eat candy corn. Lmao

But yes.

Tomorrow Trouble Hamilton.

I love you now, I love you forever.

Before I close this entry, I have to say...

6, i have no choice but to let you come and go as you please.
Please be considerate.
It's always love.

-so mote it be

Missing cues

I may have made enough to get a new turntable deck!
I was in a deep depression because I thought I made ZERO dollars in streaming.
But I made a little bread.
And the turntable deck of my dreams in near my grasp.

I went stupid yesterday and made a mix.
Somehow I'm gonna upload it so you can hear it.
I scratch with my laptop.
I/you have never seen it done.
The technique was first debuted at Corpy's house.
I was spinning a few of his house parties.
Considering how ignorant his circle is, they showed a young brother love.

Like... I've been living and breathing turntablizms.
Almost how I've overdosed on pianoforte.
I hope that means pianoizms.
Whatever.
All I think about is spinning.

I'm of the mind to believe, despite what I know, that I was dropped from Interscooe because of my insecurity.
I am very insecure.
It comes from many places.

I just feel like sharing this...

My beats from one folder were for Dilla to sample and make beats for Beyonce (Silver) to make songs about being Silver to.

Shadow would engineer.

I was totally a geek about those 3.

Now I view things professionally.

Doesnt mean I dont adore them.
It's just best for my mental health that I keep a safe and secure distance.
My insecurity could bring them down.
My anger is better when verbalized than carried out.
Which means my mouth would get me and them in trouble that my hands cant get us out of.

Last thing I want is to mouth off about humans and have a potential SEGAlien invasion.

Lo and behold, ya know?

And even if I proved it and we took over, I feel like the war vet in Independence Day.
In a time warp, believing aliens are against me.

I don't even want to talk about love right now.

😥

I will say this:

Every now and then, even prostitutes cry about how much they've shared their body.

This entry is actually a Charles Hamilton song.

Just Charles

3/17/2020

All streaming services. 

-so mote it be